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Dogma Candleshoe

talking ewing credits
letters and advice

Dogma Candleshoe


We solemnly vow to abide by the laws agreed to and drafted by the Dogma Candleshoe celebrity board of knowledge masters.

Feature film project must be shot on the digital film medium. Shooting on the mediums of film {e.g. 35mm, 16mm, photo flipbook}, analog video {e.g. betamax, hi-8, fisher-price}, or some other less conventional medium {e.g. cheese, sand drawings, lots of flags} must be pre-approved by an alphabetically nominated peer committee consisting of local artisans and at least one non-union meat vendor.

8.9% is a fairly decent interest rate.

Shooting must be done at a physical (that is to say unimaginary) location, preferably one where cast and crew, especially the union actors, won't get arrested, shot, or tranquilized.

The camera must be operated with the lens cap in the "off" position.

If the audio recording of the film sounds wretched, the offending sound must be replaced by fake Hungarian, preferably in a voice that sounds like a fat Hungarian. You must subtitle the Hungarian with a fat lettered font, to further indicate the idea that the Hungarian is fat.

If, for budgetary reasons, producers, directors or principal cast members are required to assume tasks not traditionally listed in their "scope of work," they must be credited with a clever fake name. If a director has a small role in the film, he/she/it should be credited as Richard Thornduke III.

Singing is forbidden.

The word "candleshöe" must be spoken within the diagetic context of the film. Voiceover just saying "candleshöe" does not count! If the word "candleshöe" is spoken three times, you are entered into the Døgma raffle, which will be drawn after the flaming urn ceremony at the annual picnic.

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